Key To New-age Computer Jargon

Illawarra Mercury

Monday January 18, 1999

By CAMERON BIGGART

From a recent e-mail comes a list of Computer Terms:

BIT: A word used to describe computers, as in ``Our son's computer cost quite a bit."

BOOT: What your friends give you because you spend too much time bragging about your computer skills.

BUG: What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny computer screen for more than 15 minutes.

CHIPS: The fattening, non-nutritional food computer users eat to avoid having to leave their keyboards for meals.

CURSOR: What you turn into when you can't get your computer to perform, as in ``You $#% computer!"

DISK: What goes out in your back after bending over a computer keyboard for hours.

ERROR: What you made the first time you walked into a computer showroom to just look.

EXPANSION UNIT: The new room you have to build on to your home to house your computer and all its peripherals.

FLOPPY: The condition of a constant computer user's stomach due to lack of exercise and a steady diet of junk food (see chips).

HARDWARE: Tools, such as lawn mowers, rakes and other heavy equipment you haven't laid a finger on since getting your computer.

IBM: The kind of missile your family members and friends would like to drop on your computer so you'll pay attention to them again.

WINDOWS: What you heave the computer out of after you accidentally erase a program which took you three days to set up.